Count that, you stupid bird.

It’s like feeling a cigarette in your fingers again, after a long, pointless break. It makes the whole thing feel more wonderful than ever, while making you wonder why you stopped at all.

So after about 2 years, I finally realized the pointlessness of it all. And for that, I thank the biggest monument ever dedicated to the human vanity/ego/sheer stupidity/whatever-it-is. Yes, that’d be twitter.

I was stumbling around in ‘twitterverse’ marvelling at what we, as a species, have achieved. (Fine, i’ll admit it: also secretly wondering how I could learn from Tharoor, Kutcher and the gang and become a world-renowned ‘tweeter’ with hordes of tweeterers (?) mindlessly RT’ing my badly constructed utterances.)

And slowly, the absurdity faded away like the ash cloud from Eyjafjallajokull (couldn’t resist), and i could no longer pretend to hide it. I missed blogging. Like a bitch.

It was the precise antithesis of all that this monstrosity stands for. It was the quiet, introspective voice of reason amidst the high-pitched shrieking of idiots with brains the size of pigeons. It was the peaceful hideout, the neighbourhood chai ki dukan, where you came to collect your thoughts; perhaps jot them down in long, rambling, thought-provoking sentences not unlike this one, without worrying about losing the attention of ignorant twits.

It was the insulation from all the bloody twitter.

And frankly, that’s just what i need.

Oh, and nobody, fucking nobody, gives me a character limit.

The obligatory disclaimer:

If you belong to the vast, adoring legion of over 4 Big Eyed Fish fans who have spent the last couple of years yearning for my insightful and humorous posts (what, can’t a guy flatter himself anymore?), you may not like the 2.0 version. Because i won’t be going on about my miserable life anymore to give you sadists a good laugh. It’ll still be random and pointless, and yes, profoundly meaningful too. But it may not be quite so personal.

You know, you know the teenage angst has blown over when you start rolling down your window at traffic lights and explaining accurate directions to complete strangers. Sigh. I guess it happens to everyone. But on the bright side, we’re expecting quarter-life crisis to hit any moment now.

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8 Responses to Count that, you stupid bird.

  1. The Regular says:

    Welcome back.
    Twitter makes me angry every time.

    Whats all this nonsense about not being personal any more? I could do with a bit of schadenfreude. Or maybe a courtesy update post for us old timers 🙂
    I still remember the shades of deep blue and constellations and Guy Ritchie movies, if you get my drift.

    Hey, there’s your next topic 😀

    • Big Eyed Fish says:

      You do seem to remember a lot. Even I took a second to get all that!
      But no, that’s history. My next topic will be infinitely more meaningful, insightful and thought-provoking, you shall see.

  2. Bludeehmary says:

    Haha, quarter life crisis? Indeed. I am waiting for it to begin. And yes I hate twitter, not because of the character limit but because I never have any insightful thing to say to the world, and the things which I do say matter to none. So basically I feel like a loser because apparently everyone is more smarter than me. Good to see you back bigeyedfish

  3. SOA says:

    So there was more before this. Is there a way I could read it?

    • Big Eyed Fish says:

      Yes, there was. No, there isn’t.

      And even if there was, I could tell you but then I’d have to kill myself. Out of embarrassment.

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